A Letter to Myself

If you could go back in time, write a letter to yourself and then mail it, ten, twenty, thirty or even forty years later, would you? What advice would you give yourself? I was sitting at my desk, when Brad Paisley's song "If I could write a letter to me" came to mind. I schemed the verses in my head for a minute and then finally decided to do just that. So here goes...a letter to myself.

Dear Dallas,
It is hard to believe that nearly 31 years have come to pass. It makes me wonder where time goes? By now you are married to Jeremy Welch and have been for seven years. You will celebrate your eight year anniversary on February 4th 2014. You also have a spunky, cute, intelligent 4 year old. His name is James and he is the light of your life. You would do anything for him. His first word was Mommy and from that moment on, he hasn't stopped talking, nor melting your heart. Early I said you married Jeremy Welch. Shocked yet? Yes, I know you were not expecting this. You never imagined the two of you would become such great friends, start dating and then get married. But the truth of the matter is, you did. Jeremy is a great guy, and you know he would do anything for you and your family. You truly do love him. Though he is quite stubborn at times, the two of you are a good fit. Divorce is something that has always scared you. Rest assured, as long as you continue to put God first, your marriage and your relationship with one another will remain strong.
I know the past few years have been a real struggle for you. I have seen you struggle with who you are and what you feel God is leading you to do. Being in and out of a job since 2009 had had it's ups and downs. No worries-the Lord continues to provide and pour out his love and blessings upon you. Never lose the faith! Continue to stay strong and remember bigger and better things are yet to come. You are smart Dallas, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. God will open many doors for you, including photography work that you LOVE doing.
In High School, you will take a photography class where you develop your own photos in a dark room. Then in college you will take another photography course at CPCC's North campus. While you may not enjoy your college course as much, please be patient. Again many opportunities to come your way.
By now you have also endured many heartaches. Some from breakups, and some from the loss of family members. Please know that even at times when you think no one else knows what you're going through, that they do. Your life is not over, and your heart will eventually mend. You will see and hear things that you will not understand. You will be mad, you will cry, and you will be furious at times. Your heart may even feel like your it can't take anymore. But know, that you are not alone. One day that phone will ring, though it may not be who you were expecting, just say yes. Trust me, you will thank me for this later.
By now, your Great Grandmother, Gramps, Grand mommy, Uncle John and Pawpaw have all made their way to the pearly gates. Rest assured you will see them again someday. At nine years of age, you came to the Lord and prayed the sinners pray. This is the most important decision you will ever make throughout your lifetime. Your name is now written in the Lambs book of life. By now, you have also said goodbye to Oscar and Gunnar. They were two of the best dogs anyone could have ever asked for. While all these heartaches will bring much sorrow, they will also bring much joy some day. You will be a stronger person because of this.
Some of your favorite holidays are Valentines, the 4th of July and Christmas. Especially Christmas. You are a fan of colder weather and you absolutely love the snow. Winter is your favorite time of year. While you love the beach, you would take snow any day. Every year you pray that it will snow at Christmas. Your prayer will not go unanswered. You also love snowmen. In fact you have so many that Jeremy asks you to please not buy anymore. You simply do not have the room. Every year come December, you take a family trip to the mountains to get your Christmas tree. It usually falls on the 1st weekend of the month. You look forward to this trip every year and again you pray for snow. To you, there is nothing better then picking out your Christmas tree in the snow. If I know you, come July you are already planning and praying away.
Speaking of July, about this time you normally want to plan a trip to the beach. Jeremy is more of a mountains person however. You have been wanting to get away for sometime now. You were thinking Oak Island, as your grandparents used to have a beach house here. It was located on Long Beach and brings back many memories for you. You miss this like crazy. You can still feel the cool summer breeze on your skin. It takes you back and you are at peace with yourself. Ohh just to get your toes in the sand. You don't like the water as much as you used too, but you still enjoy this. You would also like to take another trip to Mexico. You went there with your cousin, Kristin and had the time of your life. The water was crystal clear and you could see for miles. Even though you were scared out of your mind to fly, you made it and it was a trip you will never forget. This was the week Jeremy decided he wanted to propose to you.
By the way, now you have also flown to Florida and Utah.
You flew to Florida on your honeymoon. You and Jeremy took a cruise to the Bahamas and you loved it! The weather was perfect the entire trip. Here you also go parasailing for the first time. While up in the air you spot sand sharks and dolphins. The view is simply breathe taking. You and Jeremy also hope to take another someday. There are tons of places you would like to visit before you die. You tend to let your fear of flying get in the way though. That and your stomach issues. Don't be afraid though, the Lord will see you through. Don't let pesky things stand in your way!
Right now you are also considering going back to school to either become an ultrasound tech or an LPN. If this is something you truly want to do, then I say go for it! Don't let anything stand in your way. I know you are worried about Math, as this was not your best subject in school. However, Jeremy is great with numbers and you know he would be there to support you. You might even surprise yourself.
Enjoy the things that you have now and be grateful for them. Always remember there is someone out there with bigger needs then you, and you what you complain about today, someone is wishing that they had. Never take your son for granted. Tell him how much you love him every day. Make extra to snuggle. Spoil him rotten! Remember that he is obsessed with Angry Birds, so make sure you stock up. Ohh and he loves McDonalds, Chickfila, Subway, and Little Casers. These are just some of his favorites. He is also obsessed with carrots and watermelon. He will take a carrot over a cookie any day. Weird, I know, but it is the truth. You love that little boy like crazy. You have given him many nicknames along the way, but your favorite and most used is Butterbean. Whenever you are feeling down, you just think about him and a smile comes to your face. You love watching he and Jeremy together. You could stare at them for hours on end. You are truly happy!
I pray that the next 30 years is just as great. Remember to be strong, stand up for yourself and the things that matter to you most. Never give up, there is always hope. God does have a plan for you! Until next time, you are loved!

Love,
-Me-

What's in a fingerprint? Just like people, each fingerprint is unique in it's own way. No two are the same. They are an impression of who you are. Even identical twins, though able to have the same DNA, have different fingerprints. I say this to say that just like fingerprints, everyone, unique in their own way, has a story to tell.
This evening while I work, one of my coworkers (and a favorite I might add) came up to the front office and we started to chat. Like usual, my son, James was brought up and I began telling stories of things he has done and happenings through out the week. We then began swapping stories of when we were pregnant and all the wonderful and blissful moments of becoming a new Mom. I went on to tell this person just how much I love my son and I could not, nor would want to imagine my life with out him. He is pure joy in my eyes and I have often said that should anything happen to him, you would have to bury me right along with him. He is my world. I knew from previous conversations that my coworker had lost two of her children shortly after giving birth. I looked at her and I simply said "I don't know how you did it." We then got deep into conversation and she then went on to tell me their names and how old they were at the time of their deaths. This really tugged on my heart strings and as she went on to tell me more of her story, I began to cry. We both had a moment. I was glad that my coworker had opened up to me and shared just some of her story. It made me appreciate my son even more. I wish I could explain all the love I have for him in my heart, but to put into words would simply be an understatement. I honestly never know my heart could love so much.
This evening, on my way home from work, I decided to stop by Little Caesars ( I swear we keep them in business). I decided to stop here because I know it is one of James favorites. I would do anything to see him smile. Pizza Pizza Caesars, that is what he calls it. And sure enough when he and his Dad walked through the door and he saw pizza in my hand, I once again got to see his little face lite up and hear him say in his excited voice "Mom, did you get Pizza Pizza Caesars?" As I sat and ate dinner with my family, I couldn't help but to stare at my son and think about the stories my coworker and I had just shared. Pure sunshine, that is what my son is to me. What would I ever do, if someone took my sunshine away? The truth of the matter is, I don't know what I would do. I would only hope that my faith in God would carry me through.
I know there are many Moms who have had to endure the lost of a child, and for that my heart breaks. I cannot sit here and say that I know what that kind of pain feels like because I don't. I would imagine it is the worse kind of pain and heart ache someone could ever feel. It is my prayer that my son lives a long and prosperous life. I don't believe anyone should have to bury their child before they go. But I also know that God never gives us more then we can handle. I have always believed that everyone has a story to tell. And I also believe that no one comes into your life just by chance. There is a rhyme and reason for everything and God puts different people in our lives for different reasons. I don't know why my coworker had to endure the pain of losing two children, but I do know that she is a stronger person because of it, and her sharing her story with me made me love and appreciate my son even more. Just like a fingerprint, my coworkers story had left an impression on me. I pray that I remember her story and that everyday I will cherish the moments that I have with my son. Who will you make an impression on tomorrow? Looking forward to many more of God's fingerprints.