As I get Older

As I get older, the more and more I realize, just how fast this life of mine truly goes by. I sit here and stare at the calendar and it is hard for me to believe that Christmas will be here in two days. I look at pictures and find myself starring in awe. I feel like I just had my son yesterday and yet here we are...eight years later. Where did the time go? Was I simply oblivious to it all? I see and feel how my body is now changing...this growing old thing is catching up to me fast. Every day is a new ache or pain. I look in the mirror and what do I see? Gray hair and skin that is starting to wrinkle. I use to actually have some what of a body...a size nine. Geesh to be that size again. In five years I will turn forty. FORTY!!! HOLY CRAP! With all that being said, I have had a blessed life, thus far. Sure, I have faced many storms, but looking back, they were just stepping stones to get to me where I am now. So yes, I might wake up with a new ache, but boy am I blessed beyond measure. Not only has time changed me, but it has changed who I am as a person. I can honestly say that I am proud of the person I am today. I stand up for myself and no longer allow others to run over me. I have learned to walk away from toxic relationships and I now speak my mind. Yes, I do all of it tactfully and for that, I am proud. I may not ever see the size nine in my clothing tags again, but I am happy. Sure, I would like to make a few changes, but for the most part I am a pretty happy person. I have a husband who loves me and adores me and has been there for me since day one. He has supported me and loved me through many of life's storms. He has listened and not judged. He loves me for me and I am thankful that at the end of the day, I get to snuggle up close to him. I truly believe that love is the greatest gift that anyone could give us. The older I get, the more I love my parents and the guidance they showed me. My Mom has and will always be my biggest fan. When the good Lord calls them home, I may be lost for awhile, but I can do it with a smile on my face because I know they are both Christians and for that reason, there will be many crowns. I only hope that I can be half the mother to James as my Mom has been to me. As time moves on, I pray that my son stays strong in the Lord. I pray God pours out his blessings upon him and leads, directs and guides him. I pray that the temptation for drugs never crosses his mind. I hope that he will always be proud to call me his Mom. If others could only see what I see, when I look at him. They might have a small inkling as to how much I love him. In my eyes, you are perfect. As I get older, the days and the years may seem to go even quicker than those before, but one thing is for sure.. I am strong. I am proud. I am happy. I am resilient. I am blessed. I am LOVED.

People Watching

Have you ever just sat and really watched the world around us? People Watching can be so intriguing and honestly is one of my favorite things to do. You can learn so much just by paying attention to the people around you. Tonight my son and I were having dinner at our local Zaxbys. I couldn't help but to stop and stare, to sit back and take it all in. People are some of the funniest and strangest creatures around. I watched as the elderly couple across from our booth sat and chatted with one another. I couldn't help but to notice the BRIGHT BLUE finger nail polish her delicate hands were rockin. I wondered if she was that hip Granny that everyone hopes for. I wondered what her life was like when she was younger. I noticed that her outfit matched perfectly and her husband followed suit. I wondered what their life had been like and how long they had been together? Did they have kids? Grandchildren? How did they manage to make their marriage last? So many questions I pondered upon. Her husband seemed like a true gentlemen. He got up from the table to refill her drink and opened the door as they left the restaurant. I wondered where they were going? To our right were two teenage girls. They had actually placed their order before us. You could tell they were close friends as they laughed and got lost in conversation with one another. I sat and wondered what they were talking about? A boy friend perhaps? Maybe they were scheming and plotting away. The possibilities are endless. They both had long brown hair and perfect tan bodies. If they only knew how much I missed my best friend and how I longed for that conversation. A conversation that I know in the back of my mind will probably never happen again. My eyes skimmed to the young lady behind them. She sat alone with phone in her hand. In fact, she never put it down. I sat and wondered what had her focused and so attentive? Was she texting or was she getting lost in our never ending social media world? Did she even care that she was sitting alone? Was someone planning to meet her there? Then there was the family directly in front of me. I could tell that the woman's husband had become annoyed by the story she was telling. From what I could gather it had something to do with a fighter pilot. Her husband tried to jump in and retell the story, but the wife became agitated. Their son was older and sat and listened to his Mom while she spoke. I don't recall him ever saying a word. I wondered why the husband seemed so annoyed? Will I be like this when I am older? To the foreign family of three...I wondered what was so special about Zaxbys that you had to take so many selfies? Perhaps this is your daughter's favorite place to eat? Maybe you were celebrating? Maybe you just felt like taking pictures? Who knows? Whatever the reason, I do know that Zaxbys has good food. Then there were the two young teenage boys that came in together. One was a little person and I watched as the friend was willing to help with items that couldn't be reached. Was this guys night? I have always wondered what guys talk about when they get together? Do you gossip just as much as women do? So many questions. I sat and looked at my son while he ate his kids meal. I hope he knows how much I enjoy his company. I wondered how long I will have until eating dinner with Mom just isn't cool anymore. My little boy is growing up right before my very eyes. I looked into those magically colored blue eyes and I wondered what his thoughts were. Oh to be a child again. I wonder how many people watched me with my son this evening? What did they see in me? Did I intrigue them the way they had intrigued me? Did they wonder what my son and I were doing there? Could they see how much I loved my son? Did they know how much I was enjoying my evening just being there with him? Do they even care? People Watching at it's finest. You can get lost in a world of your own creativity. Sometimes we just need to sit back and pay attention to the world around us. The possibilities are endless.

YOU make a Difference

Sometimes we all need a little pick me up from time to time. I have a friend who has been dealing with a bunch of personal things and it has started to take it's toll on her. I think it is during the most difficult of times that we realize just how strong we are. We may not see it through our eyes, but believe me, others do. I know often I make the drive into work and yes, even though I can honestly say I love my job, I often ask myself, do I truly make a difference in the lives of others? I sometimes don't like telling others what my job title is. Some hear the word Receptionist and think "ohh". I honestly think people believe I just sit here in my office and answer the phone all day. Boy if you only knew. I also love how people assume that I have no sort of education. That's probably my favorite. Why is that we look at people and automatically assume because of their job title that's what defines them? For instance...Waitress, Hostess, Housekeeper, Stay at Home Mom...the list goes on. I will have you know that MANY well educated people and financially blessed folks all work in those areas. So why are we so quick to judge? Just like my friend who is facing many trials right now, I want YOU to know that you do make a difference in the lives of others. It all matters because you matter. I don't care if you make minimum wage, or if you are a billionaire. EVERYTHING we do makes a difference. You could be an ice scream scooper or a top executive at a law firm. It's all in how you treat people. If you are doing everything for God's glory, then yes, you do make a difference in the lives of others. I know it sometimes takes us a little while to see the BIG picture and to see it clearly. Would I love to make more money? Most definitely. I mean who wouldn't? And it's not just adults who make a difference, children make a difference too. I was so proud of my son yesterday. We recently celebrated his Birthday and as a result he had been given money. My husband text me while at work to tell me that James donated a portion of his money to MDA (Muscular Dystrophy Association). As a Mother this truly blesses me heart. No one asked him to do it, he simply volunteered. He could have kept that money for himself and spent it on Legos or other toys, but he didn't. He decided that he was going to make a difference in the lives of others. One simple act of kindness goes a long way. Today I ask you to think about your job or what you do on a day to day basis. Think about how you treat people. Do you spend your day moping and complaining or do you go about your day doing the best to your ability? You can and you will make a difference in the lives of others as long as you give him the glory. Just like my friend who is facing a difficult time. As long as she does everything unto his glory, then the victory is already hers. Be proud of who you are and what you do and never let a job title define you. We are all so much more, and yes we all make a difference!

In the Eye of the Storm...

Tonight I come to you asking for prayers for a friend and a co-worker of mine. Yesterday went hand in hand with my previous post about how life can sometimes throw us curve balls. Things that we are not expecting to happen, but when they do, we are thrown for a loop. Yesterday while at work, I answered the phone like I always do. Only this phone call was different. The lady on the other line stated she was calling in for someone. At first thought, I thought okay, no big deal, I will just give this call to a Nurse. However this person went on to explain that the person they were calling about was now in the hospital. I will not go into all the details as to what happened, as it is a personal matter, but I do ask that you please be in prayer for this person, as they are suffering. I can't even begin to fathom the pain they are dealing with at this time, nor would I ever want to endure it myself. I had to take a minute and process what this person just told me. I left my desk and a co-worker and I begin to tell everyone what was going on. Within five minutes all of my co-workers and I were gathered in an empty room. We all joined hands while another co-worker began to pray. She prayed for understanding and God's strength upon this person and I could feel the Holy Spirit move through her as she prayed aloud. Tears were shed and several of us asked what we could do to help? It is times like these when we really do have to take a step back and examine our lives. There is always someone going through or facing a hardship. It makes one realize just how minimal our problems truly are when we compare them to others. I believe there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. Sometimes I look at this world and I realize just how trivial my problems are compared to those that I know. I pull up my facebook page on a daily basis and while scrolling through I almost always come across a post where someone is facing a storm. Then I look again and I see post after post where people are asking for prayer. In a way this actually blesses me. To know that we are not alone as we face these trials amazes me. Sometimes I have to step back and not see things through my eyes, but the eyes of others. You may never know what someone else is going through. A smile and a laugh can cover so much up. Tonight I ask that you not only lift my co-worker up in your prayers, but I also ask that you not be so quick to judge. We ALL have our good and bad days and we may not ever know what other people are facing. Stop and think before you speak. Put yourself in their shoes. Help those who need helping. Go out of your way to be nice. Instead of putting someone down by gossiping behind their back, say something kind about them. Spread positivity instead of negativity. I don't think anyone would complain if you gave them a word of encouragement or threw out a nice compliment. Kind words go a long way. Remember all those curve balls that were thrown your way and ask yourself how you can help someone else. Sometimes all people really need is a listening ear. Tonight I pray for all the storms we are facing. I ask that God be with you, even as you read these very words. I pray for healing where healing needs to be done. I ask for God to intervene and that you would feel at peace. I ask for burdens to be left in the past. I ask for weights to be lifted off our shoulders. I pray for God's grace to be upon all who read this. I ask that we see the blessing behind the mess. May God be the eye of your storm, for in the eye, you can always find peace and rest.

Curve Balls

One thing is for certain in this life of ours. There will be plenty of ups and downs,one can only hope however, that there are more ups than there are downs. This weekend was a joyous one; my son, James just turned Eight and this weekend we held two parties, a Family party and a Kid party. There were smiles and lots of laughter. Lots of pictures were taken and tons of memories have been made. I can rejoice in the fact that my son had a wonderful weekend surrounded by those who love and care about him. However, sometimes life can throw us curve balls. This weekend while amongst all the joy, I too was thrown a curve ball. I got some unexpected news. News I was not expecting to hear and news that definitely threw me for a loop. One of life's many curve balls. Worry was beginning to set in and although I was trying to hide my worry through smiles and laughter, Saturday night I had to fight back the tears. I praise God for my husband who was there to tell me it will all be okay. Uncertainty can be a very scary thing especially without a support system. I know there are many people out there facing battles and sometimes quite frankly life just flat out sucks. I know so many people battling cancer and praying for a better outcome. I know those struggling with addiction. I know some are facing and dealing with spiritual battles. Many are dealing with financial burdens. Many curve balls will come our way throughout this lifetime. It is up to us in how we choose to deal with those curve balls. Today I choose to deal with this curve ball with prayer. I asked the Lord to intervene and I know no matter what the outcome, my God is a good God. I am so thankful for faith. I am even more thankful to have someone I can turn to when I am hurting. Someone who listens and will never forsake me. No, I might not understand why circumstances are the way they are, but I have hope in knowing this situation is already in his hands. In the end, as long as we have faith, no curve ball can stand in the way. I know sometimes it is not always easy to give situations to the Lord. We give them up to him, and then five minutes later, we take it right back. Truth is God wants us to rely on him. Are we not his children? Our heavenly Father never wants to see his children suffer. I don't believe that is ever his plan. However, we all know there will many hardships. Life is not always hunky dory. Through it all, I think all these curve balls make us better people. We come out stronger and ready to swing again. Today, I am thankful for the power of prayer. Thankful that I serve a loving and mighty God, thankful for the good and the bad. This may be one of many curve balls to come my way, but I have faith that I will come out swinging!

To My Husband

To My Husband, Today and always I want you to know how much I love and appreciate you. I love and appreciate not only what you do for me, but for our son. In your arms, I always feel safe. You never make me doubt myself. I am proud to wear this ring on my left hand and even more proud of the covenant that it represents. I love the man you were, you are now and the man you are becoming. You have changed in ways over the years that amaze me more and more with each passing day. I love how you make me smile. I love being with you and just enjoying our time together. I love the little things you do for me when no one is looking. I thank God for bringing you into my life and thank him even more for our marriage. Never once have I ever doubted you and your love for me. Through the years we have both grown in love. We have learned from past mistakes and I am happy with how far we have come on this journey. I wish I could put into words just how much you mean to me. I look at you and I can see our future together. I thank God for the good and the bad times and I thank him for allowing us to press on. I am thankful for our little family of three. I watch you with James and it makes me fall even more in love with you. There is nothing sexier than a man who loves his wife and children. I love you for making me smile. You always lift my spirits. You make me laugh like no other. I love your obnoxious bodily noises...I love the empty toilet paper roll...I love the little things that drive me bat crazy. I love you because you see past my weaknesses. You love me for me, flaws and all. I love your touch, your smell and your laughter. I love the sound of your voice on the other end of the phone. I love how you tell me I am beautiful without all the makeup. I love that you think I am beautiful without all the makeup. I love how hardworking you are. I love that you would do anything and everything for your family. I love your love for God. I love you for being there when I need you most. I love how you make me toast and buy me ginger ale when I am sick. I love your thoughtfulness. I love how good your butt looks in American Eagle jeans. I love how you provide for your family. I love how you say Kool Aid and Salsa. I love how you ask if I am pregnant EVERY time I say my stomach hurts or I have a headache. I love when you clean the house because you see that I am tired. I love it when you say "Dulin" when I am blocking your view of the tv. I love your warm touch and spooning at bed time. I love watching you while the Cowboys or Yankees are playing on tv. I love watching you and James through the kitchen window when you are outside playing ball. I love each and everything about you. Thank you for being a Godly man. Thank you for all that you do day in and day out. I hope I never take you or us for granted. It is a privilege to be called your wife. Thank you for being faithful. Thank you for being a wonderful husband, father and so much more. I am so blessed and I love you more than you could possibly know.

To the Woman in the Mirror

To the Woman in the Mirror, You are more than stretch marks, back fat, saggy breasts, and tired eyes. You are remarkable. You are worth more than a one night stand. You are valued. You are more than big hips and cellulite. You are beautiful. To the Woman in the Mirror, You are more than fat rolls and aged skin. You are special. You are more than sun spots and Botox. You are resilient. You are more than acne and scars. You are remarkable. To the Woman in the Mirror, You are more than the size tag labeled in your pants. You are unique. You are more than what society tells you you are. You are gorgeous. You are more than saggy skin. You are lovely. To the Woman in the Mirror, You are more than wrinkles and double chins. You are exquisite. You are more than crooked teeth. You are stunning. You are more than a big nose. You are foxy. To the Woman in the Mirror, You are more than any imperfections. You are amazing, radiant, sexy, bold, beautiful, brave, strong, alluring, appealing, becoming, captivating, breathtaking, charming, divine, delightful, enchanting, fabulous, glamorous, graceful, valued, irresistible, magnetic, luscious, marvelous, ravishing, seductive, spectacular, smart, kind, wonderful, creative, driven, sublime, taking, perfect. To the Woman in the Mirror, YOU ARE IMPORTANT!