Looking Back

Its funny how quickly four years can go by. I started this blog in the year 2010. Sometimes I go back and I will read what I wrote from time to time. It amazes me the changes I have gone through and how much I personally have grown. Things that mattered to me four years ago might not seem as important today. I have seen friends come and go. I have watched my spunky and resilient little boy grow up and cannot believe he will turn five this year. I have faced many challenges, had ups and downs, changed jobs, laughed and cried. More importantly I have learned so much about myself. I have learned what my strengths and weaknesses are. I have learned that I cant do it all by myself. I have learned to say I can when four years ago, I would have said can't or won't. I have learned to stand up for myself and no longer let people walk on top of me. I have learned when to say yes and when to say no. I have learned to fight for what I believe in. I have learned that I am stronger than I think I am. I have learned that relying and listening to the Lord and allowing things to happen in his timing will ALWAYS be best for me. I could go on for days about how much I have grown as a person, but I won't. I simply want to say that sometimes it is good to go back and reflect on your past. I like to see where I have come from and where I am going. Some people say it is a mistake to dwell on the past...I don't really see it as that. Everything has a place and a time and I have always believed that things happen for a reason. I believe we are like opened books with blank pages. We are cast different rolls in this life and it is up to us how we fill in those blank pages. Each one of us has a story to tell. In the future I hope I can look back and see all those pages in my book being filled. I want to say I lived a good life and that I loved with all my heart. I hope to again see how much I have grown as a person. Once those pages start to finally come to an end, I hope I can look back and say...it was a good one.

The Ring On My Finger...

Love bares all things, believes all things, endures all things, hopes all things...Love never fails. That is the verse that comes to mind when I find myself starring at my Wedding ring. I am taken back to the day that Jeremy proposed to me. That was nearly ten years ago and I can still recall that very moment. He proposed to me on Holden Beach in July of 2004. I had been there with my cousin, Kristin and Jeremy met us later in the week. We spent most of the day at Myrtle Beach visiting gift shops and eating out. It wasn't until later that evening that he proposed. On our drive back to Holden Beach, the weather started to get really stormy. When we got back to our beach house, Jeremy insisted that we go for a walk on the beach. By this time it was thundering and lightening and I literally thought he was out of his ever lovin mind. Yeah...lets take a walk on the beach next to all that ocean water...I am game for being electrocuted today. Thankfully I took that walk with him. I might have even asked my cousin to come along with us (the dork that I am), luckily she knew ahead of time what was about to happen. Jeremy grabbed a towel out of his truck and off we went. We started walking and then Jeremy asked if I wanted to sit for a little bit. I sat down first and then Jeremy sat down behind me with his arms wrapped around me. We sat in silence for a moment and then Jeremy started asking me all kinds of questions. I can't recall all his questions, but I do remember the one that means the most...Dallas will you marry me?!? He opened the box my ring was sitting in and I immediately said yes. It was BEAUTIFUL. Simply perfect. He placed the ring on my finger and excitedly I sat and stared. By the way ladies...he went to Jared!!! As luck would have it, I just so happened to have a camera on me and had another couple take a picture of us right after he proposed. I will never forget that night. We were about to start planning our future together. Time to pick out a wedding date...our very lives were about to change. I cannot thank God enough for this wonderful Man he has given me. I am truly one blessed woman. He loves me despite my many faults. He sees beauty when I can not. I love this Man of mine! I look at this ring on my finger and I know it is not just a ring. It is a symbol of Jeremy's love for me. It is a sign of our commitment to one another. It is a reminder of the promise we made to one another when I first accepted the ring and when I first said "I Do." This ring is an ongoing reminder that I have someone who loves me. It is not about my own commitments and efforts, but a commitment we made to one another and to God. I think so many times that people take that for granted. I pray I never forget what this ring means and that every time I look at it, I am reminded of our love for one another. I pray those memories are never to far, for it's not just a ring on my finger, but my Wedding ring, a simple reminder that love never fails.

It's the Simple Things

It's the simple things that can sometimes have the most impact on you. Today, I was reminded yet again of all of life's blessings. I was getting into my car while on my lunch break and saw where my four year old, James, had drawn little pictures on my nasty, dirty car. I couldn't help but to smile. Such innocence of a child. His little drawings might not seem like to much to the average person, but for a moment I was reminded of how much I love that little booger and what he means to me. I am so very blessed to have him in my life, but even more blessed to be called his Mother. Sometimes I literally feel as if my heart could burst from so much joy. There is never a dull moment. That sweet child of mine can light up my face like no other. In late March my baby boy turns five. FIVE! Sometimes I swear it seems like just yesterday Jeremy and I were picking out paint colors for his room. We were preparing for James to make his grand entrance. Sometimes I catch myself just sitting and starring at him from across the room. In a trance I go. I stand in awe in his presence. Simply captivated. He is mine, my Butterbean, my Miracle and even though nearly five years have come to pass since I first laid eyes on him, I still cannot believe he is mine. I thank God for those little moments, but even more, I thank him for blessing me with my son. Thank you Lord for all the little things-those precious reminders of all of life's blessings.