Death

Death is a powerful thing, it grips us in such a way, that sometimes words can't even describe the immense pain we are feeling. It cuts deep like a knife. Your lungs unable to breathe. Your eyes so heavy that you can hardly blink. Death is inevitable whether we like it or not. Some will go on to live long lives, while others lives are short lived. Truth of the matter is, we don't know when death will come knocking at our door. It often makes me wonder, would we live our lives differently if we knew the exact moment, even down to the very second we would pass? How differently would we treat one another? Today I received news of someone that passed in a car accident. Someone crossed the center line and their was a head on collision. In an instant, that person lost their life. Gone... I thought about the family and the pain they will endure in the upcoming days. Decisions now must be made. Today also marks my Pawpaw, Larry Dulin Sr's Birthday. My mind drifted to my Mawmaw. Christmas Eve will make two years since he went on to be with our Heavenly Father. I thought about what all he did for her while here on this Earth and what a loving Husband and Father he was. I thought about the days after he passed. I thought about how long my grandparents had been married and how much they relied on one another. Most of all, I thought about the empty bed my Mammaw now comes to each night. My Pawpaw is no longer there to embrace her, to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. The Dinner table is no longer she and my Pawpaw, two sets of silverware, have now become one. Jeremy and I will celebrate nine years together this upcoming February. I cannot even begin to imagine my life without him. It makes me appreciate him that much more. It makes me appreciate life in general. For the family that lost their loved one today, it will affect each and every person in some way, shape or form. The road ahead will not be easy, and life just got a little more bumpy. Questions will be asked and hearts will be burdened. Tears will fall and a pain like no other will now be felt. Lives are forever changed. I don't think there is a time limit when it comes to grieving the loss of a loved one. You don't just get over it in a few days, weeks or months...who is to say you ever will? We each grieve in our own way. No manual needed. And while life seems to cease at the moment, the world moves on with or without us. Death changes us in a way like no other. They say that 1.8 people die each second, that is 108 people per minute, 155,060 per day and 56,597,034 each year. That knife just cut a little deeper. No matter how we put it, death affects each and every one of us. I pray for the family that lost their loved one today. I pray for strength and a peace that passes all understanding. I pray for comfort during this difficult time. There may be some of you out there today dealing with the loss of a loved one. Whether it be in the past, or fairly new, the hurt is still there and it is very real. I would imagine the holiday season doesn't make it any easier. I pray that God would be with you during these trying times. I pray that the memory of your loved ones is never too far from your mind, and I pray that with time all wounds are healed. Family and Friends may come and go, but they will never be forgotten. May their memory live on forever. To my Gramps, Grand Mommy, Great Grandma, Oscar, Uncle John, Gunnar, Rascal and Pawpaw, you are loved and will be forever missed. Until we meet again...

I Can Only Imagine

My hourly pay isn't much and it is a number that I try so hard not to let define me. Though I don't make a ton of money, I am ALWAYS abundantly blessed. My belly is full (really full), I have a roof over my head, a husband who would do anything for me and a son who loves and adores me. With Thanksgiving around the corner, I am again reminded of how truly God blesses me. I am thankful for my past and my future, as God has closed and opened many, many doors. Tonight, after work, I had my stationed tuned in 106.9 the Lite. This is a Christian station located in Asheville, NC. I have heard the song "I Can Only Imagine" many times by the group Mercy Me. But tonight for whatever reason, this song and it's lyrics spoke to me. Never in my life, have I ever been so moved and touched by a song. The Holy Spirit was definitely with me. I pulled in the drive, parked my car and sat and listened while God spoke to me through those very lyrics I have heard over and over. I sat in awe as tears streamed down my face. Not because I was sad, but because I fervently listened. I don't care if you are pink, purple, black, white, gay, straight, fat or skinny...you have to believe there is a higher power. That you do have a purpose. The song, "I Can Only Imagine" helps to put all things in perspective for me. I do believe there is a God, I am his child and I do have a purpose. The song goes on to say "Surrounded by your glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still?" "Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all" "I can only imagine" For right now, I can only imagine what that very day will be like. The day, I leave my temporary home and come face to face with my Creator, Lord, Savior and King. I imagine it will be a day filled with much joy. To hear those words "well done my good and faithful servant" Ohh what sweet words those will be. I can't wait to hug my loved ones necks, ask God all the questions I have ever wanted to ask, play fetch with my Oscar and Gunnar, talk to Saint Pete, walk those streets of gold, sing and dance. When I think of what Heaven might actually be like, my mind could go on for days. Until that glorious day comes, I will sit an imagine, imagine and think...What will it be like?