Prayers for Faith

I don't know about you, but when I see or hear stories about young children who have been diagnosed with cancer, I become heartbroken. Heartbroken and a little more thankful for all that God has so graciously given to me. We are never promised tomorrow and life is much to short not to make the most of it. I look at my son everyday and I praise God for giving me someone to love, someone who needs me, someone that makes life a little sweeter. I cannot even begin to fathom the pain and struggles of those parents whose child has been diagnosed with cancer. I am reminded as to how fragile life truly is. Makes me want to hold my son a little longer and embrace and take in every moment. I think about what all that child must endure and the struggles they will go through. I think about their fragile little bodies and the chemo treatments they must now face. I think about time spent inside hospital rooms not knowing what tomorrow might bring. Mostly I just cry. I question God...God why a child? Why someone who has not yet lived their life? Truth is, I don't have all the answers. Life is full of many whys. It is nothing unfamiliar. We all know life has it many ups and downs. I guess some things just weren't meant to be understood. Sometimes I think God puts certain situations in our lives to make us rely on him more. I think we all take life for granted at times. We forget how precious this life here on Earth truly is. We expect to go about our daily routines without anything ever going wrong. That's just it...things do go wrong. That's what makes life a journey. That's what makes us rely on God more. That is where faith comes in. And if faith is all it takes...then you can walk on the water too. Today I want to praise God for my health and the health of my child. I thank him for allowing me to breathe my next breath. I thank him for another great day with my family. I thank him for the reminder that this life is fragile and I praise him for giving us his grace. I want to lift up all those battling this horrible disease. I ask that the Lord be with you through this storm. I ask that he gives guidance. I pray for understanding. I pray that instead of shaking our fist at God, that we allow him to fight these battles for us. I pray for each and every child going through chemo. I ask that God give each and every person a special touch. I pray for his almighty army of angels to surround you at this time and that you would feel their very presence, but most of all I pray for healing and I pray for faith.

A Mommmy Moment

After tucking James in bed last night, I too made my way to the bedroom to ready myself for bed. I went into the bathroom and washed all my makeup off, looked at myself one last time in the mirror and then made my way to the bed. That is when I noticed that James had some how managed to make his way into our bedroom and had now crawled in the bed with Jeremy. My first reaction was to tell him, no buddy you can't be in here, but instead I didn't. I slowly and quietly tip-toed to my side of the bed, threw the covers back and slid into bed. I wrapped my arms around him and slowly began rubbing his back. It's not every day that I get to snuggle with my now six year old, so I was willing to take advantage of this opportunity. As I lay there and rubbed his back, again it hit me as to how fast he is growing. I remember when my hand consumed his entire back, now not so much. I took his limp little hand into mine and I watched as his tiny little fingers wrapped around mine. For a moment time stood still and I was now in my happy place. I lay there and gently caressed his little hand. James has the softest skin. He lay there with his eyes closed completely lost in peaceful slumber. Slowly but surely the tears began to fill my eyes, I could feel them slowly make their way from my eye lids to my pillow. Still I lay there rubbing his back and holding his hand. Why must he grow up so fast? The lump in my throat was starting to hurt, but still we both lay there; he lost in deep dreams and me balling like a baby. These are the bittersweet moments that all Moms hold near and dear to their hearts. These are the moments you can't get back. I try not to move, but my crying and sniffling got the best of me. My husband rolled over, looked at me and asked "are you crying?" I just shook my head yes and said "he's growing up, our baby is growing up." In that moment James opened his eyes and asked if I was okay? I shook my head yes and then repeated "you're growing up buddy, you're growing up." James just looks at me and then says "Momma that's what I am supposed to do, it will all be okay." I too know it will all be okay... I just couldn't let go...let go of this Mommy Moment.

It Happens In a Blink

It happens in a blink, you turn around and your son or daughter is now all grown up, another mile stone gone, another year come and gone. This past week my husband had ordered my son a new mattress for his bed. Before he was born, we bought furniture for his room that would convert as he got older. For example, his crib bed converted to a day bed and now his day bed to a double. For some this may seem like no big deal, but to me it is just one more reminder of how fast by baby is growing up. His mattress came in yesterday, so we made the drive into Charlotte to pick it up. James was so excited! Who would have thought a child would be so excited over a new mattress? I thought only adults did that? However, he was beaming. "Daddy, can I get out of the truck to see it, PLEASE?" His eyes wide open, like a child come Christmas morning. We loaded up the trailer and off we went. We stopped by my parents house before heading home and then we all grabbed a bite to eat. Once we finally pulled in our drive, James became even more excited. "How are you going to get this huge thing in the house?" That's where Daddy comes in. Jeremy quickly unloaded the box spring and mattress and in the door we went. We then cut the plastic off and began the process of putting his "new" bed together. James had us wash his Angry Bird sheets and comforter that he had got for Christmas. They were nice and crisp and smelt heavenly as we placed them on his bed. Here came that look in his eyes again. Finally he crawled into this bed and laid in the middle. The bed now even looked more bigger than it did before with his little body laying in it. It completely consumed him, but he was content in his new found "BIG" boy bead. I stood and looked at him and then crawled in the bed and lay beside him. I turned and faced the wall so he wouldn't see the tears whaling in my eyes. He is growing... In a flash another mile stone has come to pass. There is no turning back, we can only move forward from here on out. It happens in blink, it happens in a flash...growing up.