A Mommmy Moment

After tucking James in bed last night, I too made my way to the bedroom to ready myself for bed. I went into the bathroom and washed all my makeup off, looked at myself one last time in the mirror and then made my way to the bed. That is when I noticed that James had some how managed to make his way into our bedroom and had now crawled in the bed with Jeremy. My first reaction was to tell him, no buddy you can't be in here, but instead I didn't. I slowly and quietly tip-toed to my side of the bed, threw the covers back and slid into bed. I wrapped my arms around him and slowly began rubbing his back. It's not every day that I get to snuggle with my now six year old, so I was willing to take advantage of this opportunity. As I lay there and rubbed his back, again it hit me as to how fast he is growing. I remember when my hand consumed his entire back, now not so much. I took his limp little hand into mine and I watched as his tiny little fingers wrapped around mine. For a moment time stood still and I was now in my happy place. I lay there and gently caressed his little hand. James has the softest skin. He lay there with his eyes closed completely lost in peaceful slumber. Slowly but surely the tears began to fill my eyes, I could feel them slowly make their way from my eye lids to my pillow. Still I lay there rubbing his back and holding his hand. Why must he grow up so fast? The lump in my throat was starting to hurt, but still we both lay there; he lost in deep dreams and me balling like a baby. These are the bittersweet moments that all Moms hold near and dear to their hearts. These are the moments you can't get back. I try not to move, but my crying and sniffling got the best of me. My husband rolled over, looked at me and asked "are you crying?" I just shook my head yes and said "he's growing up, our baby is growing up." In that moment James opened his eyes and asked if I was okay? I shook my head yes and then repeated "you're growing up buddy, you're growing up." James just looks at me and then says "Momma that's what I am supposed to do, it will all be okay." I too know it will all be okay... I just couldn't let go...let go of this Mommy Moment.