1st Grade

Today, as I made my way into the school, my hands loaded with school supplies, I most definitely knew that my son is growing up. We made our way down the hall and into his classroom. A new and fresh start, a new year and now 1st grade. Last year my mind was consumed with worry and fear as I walked my then, kindergartener to his class. This year...not so much. I won't say that I didn't shed a few tears as I left the school parking lot and made my way home because that would be an absolute lie. Honestly this transition was a little different. Was I sad to see my child go? Most definitely, but today I decided not to let worry consume my mind. I know now that my child is in good hands. I have prayed and poured out my heart to God asking him to please watch over and protect my baby. Not saying that I didn't do the same last year. James was excited to start and I was excited for him. He knew several students from last year would now be in his class.One being a little girl named Alivia, but we will have that conversation a different time. Might I add she is a red head too...just sayin. As James made his way into Mrs. Kuster's class, I followed him as he made his way to his cubby. "Good Morning" those were my first words to his teacher. I then asked where she would like for me to place his school supplies, said goodbye to James and off I went. When I arrived home I remember the feeing I had last year as I sat in total and complete silence. "And then there was one", I remember thinking that over and over again. Today instead of sitting in silence, I decided to go out and about. First I made my way to Target where I managed to find some great Christmas gifts. After leaving there, I headed to my home away from home...Wally World. I found some good clearance deals there to...one of which I am using tonight with dinner. A kabob set and I LOVE IT! It's the little things in life. While in Walmart my stomach was saying "feed me woman", so I left there and headed to one of my favorites, Casa Garcia (Mexican). I didn't mind that I was by myself, however I did miss my Butterbean. I sat and wondered how his day was going? Was he making new friends? Did he like his teacher? What time was he going to lunch? I couldn't wait to pick him up and see how his day went. After lunch I headed into Lincolnton and made my way to Goodwill (love me some Goodwill)...picked up a few things for James and then it was time for me to head back towards James school. I sat patiently in the car line for what seemed like eternity. Finally there he was...my mini me...all smiles and ready to head home. He got in the car and I immediately asked how his day had been? James said it was super fun and so far he likes his teacher. Said he had a chicken sandwich for lunch and it was super good. I asked what time he went to lunch, but he stated he couldn't remember. I then asked if he was hungry and of course his response was yes. I made my way to the local Mickey D's and ordered a cheeseburger (no onions) for my baby, just as I did the previous year. "Thank You Mommy!" All in all it was a great day, and I am excited for new adventures. I pray this school year is filled with joy and happiness. I pray that James makes lots of new friends and that his teacher loves him as much as I do. I pray that he learns and grows as he learns. I pray for protection and safety abound. Most of all, I pray my baby enjoys this year as much as he did the previous. Welcome to 1st Grade!

My Pink Elephant Bracelet

Last night while at Walmart I purchased a Pink Elephant Bracelet. I had been eye balling these $0.99 bracelets for quite sometime now and last night, I finally jumped the gun and made the inexpensive purchase. So what is the signifigance behind all of this? When I was younger my Great Grandmother had made a Pink Elephant pillow for me. At the time, I didn't see the importance behind this, but now, as an adult, I most definitely do. My Great Grandmother has gone on to pass since then. For years, I clung to this pillow. Every where I went, my proud pillow went too. Ellie, that was the name I had given this pillow. This pillow had seen happiness, tears and some of the best and worst moments of my life. Every vacation I took, Ellie was with me. If ever I spent the night at a friends house, Ellie was with me. No one seemed to mind and I didn't care how old, Ellie was going with me. Ellie even experienced her first plane ride to Mexico with me. We were best buds, my pillow and me. Because I had Ellie for so long, of course she slowly began to fall apart. This didn't bother me though, Ellie had seen me at my worst, who was I to judge? One day, I left Ellie on top of the washing machine, and my sister, not knowing any better accidentially threw her away. You would think something as simple as a pillow being tossed away wouldn't really have an impact on me right? Wrong! Ellie had been with me through thick and thin. Ellie was much, much more than just some ordinary pillow. This pillow had meaning...this pillow, my Ellie; had sentimental value. For years on end, I tried to find material that matched what Ellie looked like. At craft shows I constantly looked to see if anyone had any hand stiched Elephant pillows, and for years on end I was left with nothing, but pure disappointment. That is until last Christmas. As I sat and opened my gifts, I noticed that my Mom had hand stiched not, one, but two small elephant pillows. One looking exactly like my Ellie. As I pulled this pillow out of the perfectly gift wrapped package, I began to cry. All those wonderful memories of me and my Ellie pillow all came rushing back to me at once. Some people may think this is childish, but for me this is a moment in my life that I was always hold near. My Mom was able to see just how important this pillow had been to me through all these years. And it's timing was perfect. Don't you know I sleep with these two elephant pillows every night? I say all this to explain the purchase of the inexpensive Elephant Bracelet. For awhile now I have been struggling with the fact that Jeremy and I may or may not have another child. I hear the question on a daily basis..."Do you think you and Jeremy will have another?." Truth is, I don't know the answer to this question. Sometimes I think, yes, I would LOVE to have another child and then there are times when I am perfectly content. I think about the what if's? I think about how I am not getting any younger. I think about the changes as a woman I will soon be facing. I look at James and think about the wonderful big brother he would be. Emotion, after emotion hits me. Jeremy and I have had several discussions regarding this. He looks more at the financial aspect of it. Not that I don't. I also think about my health, my weight and my age. Those are of high importance to me. I don't want to put my life or the babies life at risk. So I have decided that I will no longer let all these thoughts consume my mind. Whatever is God's will is what will happen. Just like Ellie came came back into my life, I know what if it is God's will for Jeremy and I to have another child, then we will. And it will all be in his timing...perfect timing. I will wear my Pink Elephant Bracelet as a reminder that God is in control. I need not worry about tomorrow, or the day after, or the next week because He is Lord over all. It is not my decision, but his. I pray that every time I look down at this bracelet that I am reminded of this. My pink, Elephant Bracelet...not my will, but his be done!