Widowed

Lonely and empty, those are the only words that come to mind when I think or see the word Widowed. To be without one's spouse. I don't and cannot even begin to imagine that sort of loss. To have had a companion and to love someone whole heartedly is a great and wonderful thing. To have someone to share your deepest secrets with. To have someone to hold and love you. To have someone listen, someone to talk to and someone to comfort you in the bad times. That person is now gone. Widowed... To cry out and no one answer, to long for their embrace, to hunger for one more kiss, or the touch of their skin. To yearn for just one more day...one more chance to tell you how much you are loved. Widowed... So very lonely, so very empty. I can't imagine my husband not being here when I wake up in the morning. Have you ever thought about a certain situation and it literally brought you to tears the instant you began to think about it? That was me the other day. I was at work, just another ordinary day, when one of our Residents who has Alzheimer's disease was crying out for her husband. She stated she wanted to go see and talk with him. I quickly learned that she was widowed and her husband had died several years back. I sat for a moment wondering what it must be like? The one person she could relate too, and to know that her significant other is gone. This person proceeded to ask for the telephone so she could call her husband. I just smiled and said "I'm sorry honey, we can't make collect calls there." My heart was breaking on the inside. Isn't it always the little things we take for granted? Knowing that this one day might be me nearly made the situation worse. However, it also helped to put things in perspective. I shouldn't take this life for granted, much less the time I get to spend with my husband. For one day our time will come. Whether I go first or vice versa, one of us will be left here to pick up the broken pieces. I pray my husband knows how very much in love with him I am. I hope he knows how proud he makes me on a daily basis. I hope I tell and show him every day just how much he means to me. I hope he knows my appreciation for him and all that he does, not just for me, but for our son. I know our days are numbered here on this Earth, so I pray that every day the good Lord gives me is another great day. I pray for a strong marriage and that others would see the love we have for one another. No, we are not perfect by any means and yes there are days when we seriously agitate one another. But through it all and at the very end of the day...when we lay our heads down to sleep, I know that the God of the universe designed my husband just for me. I know that he loves me because he chooses to show me with his words and his actions. So this evening while I sit and I type this entry, I pray that every person reading this...married or not, knows just how sacred marriage is and can be. I pray that you show your spouse just how much they mean to you. Don't talk to them ugly because those may just be your very last words. Tell them and show them how much you love and appreciate them. Honor and Respect them. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Support them, no matter what the odds. Protect them...be jealous for them. Argue less and cuddle more. Do things with them and for them...things you would never do for anyone else. Pray for them. Pray for your marriage. It deserves your attention and more than anything your hard work. May you be reminded of this each day. I pray that the day(s) with your spouse are many. I pray they are happy and healthy days. I pray that your spouse would know just how much they mean to you, not just while you are here, but when you are gone too. Yes, a widowed person might be lonely and even feel empty inside. It is my hope though, that they have an awesome story to tell. Please don't take the little things for granted. To My Husband, I love you today and tomorrow and for all the days in between. May you always be a part of my story... -Dallas-