Sometimes

Sometimes I honestly wish I wasn't as nice as I am. Sometimes I wish I had it in me to be that mean vindictive person. Sometimes I wish others could feel the pain that I feel because I am an empath. It is both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes I want to lash out at people and make them feel what I feel in the moment. Being the bigger person has always been a goal of mine, but honestly sometimes I just get tired of trying. Trying to always please. Trying to be kind when you aren't so kind to me. Sometimes being the bigger person causes me even more pain and suffering in the end. Sometimes I just want to scream or hit something. Sometimes I get TIRED of being the one who always compromises. Sometimes I just want to be selfish. Sometimes I question why God made me this way? But at the end of the day, I know that mean vindictive person just isn't me. I know God made me and molded me into the person I am today, and I am still a work in progress. I will always choose kindness over being mean any day. I will always listen to you despite how you may treat me. I will always be the bigger person even when I don't want to be. I will always try to put my best foot forward in all situations. Sometimes I will lash out, but I assure you I am always quick to apologize, even when I shouldn't. I don't see that as a weakness. I claim that as taking responsibility for my actions. Sometimes I will be selfish, but most of the time it's because it's well deserved. Sometimes...