Yesterday will forever be a day that impacted our lives. Whether you live in Newtown CT, live in NC, have children or your own, or do not, we were all impacted. I first got the news when I sat down to check my email. My son, James was standing right there beside me, and as the tears slowly began to run down my face, I heard his sweet voice say "What's wrong Mommy?" How do you explain this to your three year old? I grabbed him, pulled him in thight and slowly whispered "I just don't know why people are so mean sometimes." I sat there for a minute clinching to my son and as I stared at him, I thought to myself, what if it were us? What if our lives had been turned upside down in literally one day? What if I no longer had my son? I cannot even begin to imgaine the pain these families, friends and loved ones are feeling and I will not sit here and pretend that I do. I wouldn't even know where to begin. You might as well dig a grave for me too. There were many emotions felt yesterday and still are being felt at this very moment.
I keep looking at my son and praising the Lord over and over again that he is with me today and I get to hold and squeeze his little hands one more time. I keep thinking about the gunman and what must have been going through his mind. What could make a person do something like this? I keep thinking about all the students and faculty on staff yesterday morning and how their lives will be forever changed. How can they ever get this horrific event out of their minds? I think about the families and what it must have been like to get that call, or to turn the news on and see that your childs school is under attack. I can't help but to feel scared myself. Is there anywhere safe now?
My heart is truly broken. It is my prayer that forgiveness can overcome evil. I pray that hearts can mend and that all those affected can find peace in knowing that God is right there with them. My heart is with you Newtown, Connecticut.
"Losing"
I can't believe what she said
I can't believe what he did
Oh, don't they know it's wrong, yeah?
Don't they know it's wrong, yeah?
Maybe there's something I missed
But how could they treat me like this?
It's wearing out my heart
The way they disregard
This is love, this is hate...
We all have a choice to make
Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Well it's only the dead that can live
But still I wrestle with this
To lose the pain that's mine
Seventy times seven times
'Cause Lord it doesn't feel right
For me to turn a blind eye
Though I guess it's not that much
When I think of what You've done.
This is love, this is hate...
We've got a choice to make
Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Oh, no!
Why do we think that hate's gonna change their heart?
We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought
But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground
We build our bridges up but just to burn them down
We think pain is owed apologies and then it'll stop
But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not
Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound
Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down
[x2]
Oh, Father won't you forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Yeah, I feel like I've been losing
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
I feel like I've been losin'
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losing
I can't believe what he did
Oh, don't they know it's wrong, yeah?
Don't they know it's wrong, yeah?
Maybe there's something I missed
But how could they treat me like this?
It's wearing out my heart
The way they disregard
This is love, this is hate...
We all have a choice to make
Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Well it's only the dead that can live
But still I wrestle with this
To lose the pain that's mine
Seventy times seven times
'Cause Lord it doesn't feel right
For me to turn a blind eye
Though I guess it's not that much
When I think of what You've done.
This is love, this is hate...
We've got a choice to make
Oh, Father won't You forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Oh, no!
Why do we think that hate's gonna change their heart?
We're up in arms over wars that don't need to be fought
But pride won't let us lay our weapons on the ground
We build our bridges up but just to burn them down
We think pain is owed apologies and then it'll stop
But truth be told it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not
Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound
Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down
[x2]
Oh, Father won't you forgive them?
They don't know what they've been doin' (oh no)
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
Yeah, I feel like I've been losing
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losin'
I feel like I've been losin'
Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them
'Cause I feel like the one losing
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