Wishing I Could Stop Time

Had a sentimental moment while cleaning James room. I was reminded of good times...I remember picking out the paint colors for his room and how Jeremy and I painted this. I looked at his stuffed animals and photo frames and was reminded of his baby showers. I looked at his stroller and his car seat tucked away in the corner and it hit me just how fast he has grown up. I cannot believe my little Butterbean will be 4 years old in March! Where does the time go? I was saddened to think that Jeremy and I may not ever have another. Wishing financial circumstances could be different and that I was where I wanted to be health wise. I thank God for that precious MIRACLE and I hope and pray that each time I enter his room that I am reminded of his love. I hope those memories never go away. I hope that God will continue to allow me to have these little moments, moments that I ponder and treasure in my heart. James you are growing up WAY too fast! If only I could stop time!

I look at you and I see the spunky little three year old that you are and I cannot help, but to stop and thank God for all that he has done. You are so precious to me, and I pray that I never take that forgranted. I remember my Mom always telling me that you don't know what it is like to love someone until you have a child of your own. Boy was she right. Sometimes I sneak into his room at night just before going to bed myself and I see that sweet innocent face...and I think to myself..."Is he really mine?" I don't know why God choose me, Dallas, to bring this sweet, precious and loving child into the world, but I will be forever grateful. I cannot imagine my life without him, nor do I want to. God gave me much much more then a son. He gave me a precious MIRACLE! I never imagined having a little boy. I always pictured myself raising a little girl, I even had her name picked out, Savannah Nichole. That is what we would call her. Much to my surprise, I knew the moment I found out I was pregnant that I was having a little boy. Forget the pink, it's time to start thinking BLUE!

I remember thinking about what he would like look, what his little personality would be, what might his first word be. All those things seem to gather in your mind. He is everything I thought and much more. He gets his wits from his Daddy and well, his good looks of course come from me! Haha! One things is for sure, when he bats those BIG BLUE eyes at you, your heart just melts. Little stinker has conned his way with things, that's for sure. I guess I am a sucker for blue eyes and puckered little lips.

Don't let Jeremy fool you either, James has his way of conning him into saying yes too. Maybe I should start doing that myself...I wonder if that would work for Jeremy? Hummm...I am thinking back rub right about now. (Insert lip pucker right here) LOL

I hope my son knows just how much his Mommy and Daddy love him! James, I promise to love you as long as God lets me. You my Angel, Butterbean, Stinkbug, Peanut Butter Cup, Snicker Doodle and Snuggle Buddy all wrapped up in one! Never forget to let your light shine! You are loved and adored!

-Mommy-